Struggle is just another word for growth.
I like to think each is another log on the fire. Burn it for fuel.
We usually try and avoid struggling. Or find the quickest route out of it. And with this we have tiny little fires that don’t keep shit warm.
Yoga — escape valves
In alignment based yoga, when we encourage (strongly sometimes) the body to stay in alignment, it’s harder, but we find rewards if we stick. Example: Seat forward fold. And you let your feet rotate like a monkey. This results in missing one of the hamstring muscles. If this is habitual, then you got part of the hamstring that’s tighter than the rest. OUCH. Takes a bit of nagging, but learning to keep the four corners of the feet equally pushing out results in happiness.
Sometimes it’s ok to turn and avoid the lesson, but not because we don’t have the skill to stick.
If you have what it takes, you KNOW what the heck your doing, and you decide, to turn back. OK. That’s educated. Not blind without courage. Some days you just don’t have the energy to stick. You might need to pull back, collect yourself, go at it again later.
BUT…you might need to stick. Or learn how to stick. Learn to keep the fire burning hot.
Check out this experience. It hammered me so much, I laid on the couch for most of the day.
My first open water swim was good. Went smooth, no big deal. So I thought to myself…”CHECK. Another struggle concurred. Fire’s burning HOT!”. hahahaha. Either I was foolish or I didn’t remember to knock on wood.
My second open water swim was a much different experience. It was windy. Strange things were going on in my lungs. OMG. Either I drank too much lake water or I had an asthma attack. Either way. It was REALLY hard. And I was pissed. It wasn’t like the first swim AT ALL. That pissed me off. I couldn’t really get things in check, that pissed me off. Having my “struggle” unchecked, that…you know, pissed me off.
I wanted to cry like a baby and quit. THAT pissed me off.
It was a REALLY BIG CHALLENGE…to try and go back to it. Face in the water, relax, roll, breathe, stroke, relax, roll…come up sputtering, cough up a lung, sputter sputter…relax, roll, breathe, stroke…
I had to shorten the swim, everyone else did 3 laps. I did 2. That…you know, didn’t exactly piss me off, I was starting to feel defeated at this point. Made me want to cry, throw a tantrum, throw in the towel, get out of the water. Yank off my stupid shark fin swim cap and go home saying, “fork it”, “what the heck do I need to do this crazy stuff for anyway…”
My coach kept telling me I did awesome. Part of me was thankful he was there, giving me comfort and warmth, another part of me was saying “whatever, that SUCKED, liar liar liar”. Who was louder…I have no idea. I was feeling really bad, like I was folding in on myself. crazy.
All I knew was that I was going to get on my bike despite how HORRIBLE I felt. I was going to stick. Push through. Wasn’t like I hadn’t done this before. Got it done.
Got home. Thank goodness. Laid on the couch for HOURS. Resting. Recovering. Licking my wounds?
Today I was talking to myself. “You know, Rockstar, that was hard stuff. Probably not the hardest (OMG), but…you made it through it. You STUCK. You learned. You’re stronger for it. Fire’s burning nice and hot today.”
So I guess I should apologize to my coach for calling him a liar in my head. 🙂
Because I AM A ROCKSTAR. Burning nice and hot. And isn’t that a lovely picture he took of another team member. Just beautiful. That’s what I’ll focus on for next time.
