Education
The Warrior’s Heart
When we think of Warrior, we think of those really tough people. Dude from Gladiator. Man oh man was he a looker in that movie! Sometimes we … think they are so hard, hard to get to know, maybe too abrasive, to the point … etc. That warrior tho … they aren’t afraid to do the hardest stuff. And personally I think they love and feel the most as well.
I am a Warrior. I always have been. For animals. For those suffering. For … the underdog. For myself. And I’ve had to be.
For the Warrior … It’s just our make up. Who we were made to be to gift the earth. Lightening it up a bit … this make up … the ability to hold the line, do the super tough stuff … leads us to do things that most don’t. Won’t. Like train for an Ironman. We just know … we can feel … that there is so much more … We drive and strive for it. (And when we experience that … we might become junkies!).
Warriors don’t strive for perfection …. but for the personal satisfaction that we did INDEED DO SOMETHING THAT WE THOUGHT WE COULDN’T. OR … something that we knew we ACTUALLY COULD NOT do at the start, a fact, but we were brave and changed into the person that COULD DO IT. We didn’t let a little thing call fear stop us.
WE HELD THE LINE.
Some of us have these very soft spots. Be it just how we are made. Like … if we feel the green on the leaves, really enjoy the bird chirping, want to sing with the wolves and feel the wind, the breathe of the earth, caress our skin. For very sensitive people it’s hard to deal with all the energy we feel from others. I’m beginning to really learn that for the … big awesome parts of being a GOAL DREAM CHASER (and achiever) come the equal side of … the most sensitive and soft element of ur souls. Those Warriors … their hearts are MASSIVE. That’s what gives them the juice needed to GET AT IT until it’s done. Regardless of what we are talking about. Fighting for our kids health, for our marriages, for our personal ….ethics and happiness/contentment. For Ironman. For being the best parent or human being possible.
So … for the Warrior Heart, dealing with all that we feel around us is hard. Especially the negatively, hate and other terrible things that hurt our souls.
I think that most warriors have this more than some. This is what makes us the warriors. Those that stand up for folks. Stand up for what we believe in. Don’t play small. Are super driven. We know that we have a purpose. We strive for that. It’s our deep connection with that that makes us all ultimately strong, that births the warrior. The catch 22. The yin and yang of it all.
Or maybe other things … create these soft spots. Or make them even softer. The world can be a cruel place. Maybe your parents didn’t say “I love you enough”. Maybe there was so much negativity that it felt as if you were drowning. Maybe things happened that really hurt your soul. Those deepest parts of you.
The Warrior will find a way. The soft spots will be protected, as thats what we do. We fight for those that can’t. We protect. (For ourselves as well). We stand up regardless of the cost. We are so driven that we instinctively don’t want the softness to … impede or drive forward.
A lot can be said about how our society deals with these soft spots. Look at rape for instance. It’s just completely terrible that the “victim” role is so solidified by our justice system (or lack of it), how our society portrays … female sexual rights, how we deal with the issue in generally and the “therapies” that result. Do we really help the soft spot to heal or just put a shit ton of bandages on it? So much to say about how our society completely fails in the emotional/spiritual healing arts. It’s no surprise really that children are killing other children in school. (Don’t shoot me … but seriously … we are not addressing personal space violations, bullying, etc well. Look at facebook fav memes and twitter. 😉 )
Back to the point. The Warrior’s Soft Spots
This might be why you see these people that are so hard … angry … shut down. They have found a space where they can breathe and hold the soft spots together. They have not only glued themselves together, but have fortified that soft and quiet place with concrete. And armed with with anger or … or … or …
It’s really hard to … take the bandages off the soft spots and allow more air to them. There is pain involved. It can be breathe taking … to walk forward and have the wounds out in the open.
Our society generally doesn’t deal well with the soft spots. So … it makes it hard to learn the lesson and let go of what we don’t need anymore. Maybe a bit of a scar but you know … if you manage wounds and soft spots well … they can heal well. Be as strong as if not hurt. It just takes … bravery to do the work and support in what ever color that comes to you. I really don’t think we can do that work ourself. However we ADD HEALING / POSITIVE / whatever to the mix to help the soft spot become more cohesive with our whole being. (not something that we continue to always have to protect. something that we can live with like our fav pair of jeans).
Getting to that place can be tough. And it’s a truth that … the soft spots, the healing … some times the ebb and flow of life changes our “status” with things. For those that have lost babies … it can be 20 years down the road and you’ve done the hard work to get to the place where the pain isn’t a roar. It’s a place that you cherish in your soul. But add … one smell, one sight of something that …. adds just a bit of energy to that spot. Brushes it just the right way to trigger …. pain, confusion, unease, fear …. and … we get surprised by that. It’s the advanced lesson to know this and to see it for what it is. Maybe no more work needs to be done. Just let that feeling pass like a cloud in the sky, being directed by the breathe of the earth.
Maybe there is work to be done. Maybe you need to listen and decide … what am I going to do this softness. So maybe things to do. Not all of them really mean anything is wrong. It really is all in how you want to roll the next moment. The next day. The next time that earth breathes on you.
Namaste
Home Glute Workout #3
1. V-Lift
Lie facedown on an exercise ball. Position your pelvis in the middle of the ball, hands resting lightly on the floor, legs straight, feet shoulder-width apartment legs in a “V” position. Keeping your back flat, squeeze your glutes to lift legs as high as you can. Lower and repeat. 10-15 reps.
2. Single-Leg Hip Abduction
Place the resistance band around your things, a few inches above your knees. Lower into a squat. Keeping the torso still, step on foot back at a 45-degree angle. Return to start; quickly switch to the other foot. That’s one rep. Repeat, alternating legs. (Additionally, you can do all reps on one side). 10-15 reps
3. Monster Walk
Place a resistance band just above your ankles. With your legs far enough apart to keep tension in the band, walk 20 steps to the right (make sure to pick up your back foot, and don’t allow the knees to collapse inward). Reverse to the left to return to start. 1 set is 20 steps to the left and right.
4. Single-Leg Deadlift
Stand on right foot, knee slight bent, left foot hovering nexts to the right. With back flat (or as much as the hamstring(s) allow), hinge forward reaching arms straight toward floor and raise left legs straight behind you. Return to start, remaining on one foot. Do 10-15 reps. You can add weight if you master the weightless version. Switch legs. 10-15 on each leg.
5. Hamstring Press
Lie facedown, arms bent so hard are folded in front of you, elbows out. Hold an exercise ball between your shins and ankles, legs bent 90 degrees. Squeeze glutes and lift the ball straight up and a few inches off the floor. Lower and repeat. Set is 10 – 15 reps.
6. Bulgarian Split Squat
Stand with feet hi-width apart, a few feet in front of a stability ball, hands clasped at chests. Place right foot (shoelaces down) on top of ball. With weight in your left floor, lower into a deep lunge. Push into left heel to stand. Do 10-15 reps each side.
Equipment Need: resistant band (circle), exercise ball
The Holy Glutes
As a triathlon coach, yoga teacher, strength and condition coach and recovered severe-injury hip athlete, I highly recommend, push, almost-force my athletes into the idea of strength work for the hip girdle. Here is a great article bringing endurance, strength, stability and body health into one thought process.
What the glutes do:
How they get out of balance:
1. Athletes, for once reason or another, have over developed quads and hamstrings.
2. Sitting at an 8-5 causing deconditioning to these vital rotators/stabilizers as the activity of sitting does not activate the glutes. (unless you happen to work while sitting on a stability ball). ‘
3. Additionally, sitting for long periods of time causes decreased blood flow to the hip area which also deconditions muscles.
4. Our daily habits have a large contribution to what happens when we are running or doing other awesome activities. For instance, the mom that holds the baby on one hip habitually, the way we drive, the way we sleep, etc. This leads to number #5. But I did want to say #4 out loud and strongly. You can work to correct your glute strength all day long. The real life changing habits come when you address your day to day habits as well. You sit for WAY longer than you run. It’s just the running is the extra stimulus to cause pain, decreased performance and possible injury.
5. Another cause that they don’t think about much is our tendency to be stronger on one side. We have strong kinetic habits that usually result in one hip (or glute specifically) to be less functional. This means that the kinetic firing ability as well as the strength of the glute is less than compared to the other side. Which results in hip girdle imbalance. Which causes a ton of other issues.
Que the singers: “the hip bone is connected to the leg bone…”
Get Faster with Strength Training
For endurance athletes, strength training is very beneficial. You just need to do it in a strategic way, as you will have to juggle quick and strong stimulus/change to the body in addition to the adaptations that come from endurance training. Completely do-able once the principles are understood. Additionally, being very strategic on what strength training is preformed is key, as the endurance athlete, especially the triathlete doesn’t have a lot of extra time. The benefits certainty do make it worth the effort. But again. It has to come from solid education. Most gym trainers don’t quite understand the endurance training body relationship. For instance, bicep work should only be done once the back side of the shoulder cuff is rock solid AND the swim form is good in specific aspects.
Here are some benefits to strength training:
- Stronger bones: they are stimulated to grow stronger (thus one reason why we need to eat well)
- Injury prevention: centered joints are less likely to experience wear and tear. Just like your tired. Keep the alignment spot on and the tires last longer. So smart lifting means you bring balance to the limited dimensional running and biking.
- Improvement performance: for the SAME above reason. BOOM!
- Strength training brings changes to the body faster if done well
- Stronger is better for the spirit
- Stronger is healthier
- Stronger is sexier
Utilizing a coach that understands both endurance training and strength training is really important. It can mean a huge PR or a big fat injury. Learning and understanding the principles is key.
PRINCIPLES
Fact: It takes one to two days to recover from a harder resistance training session. (This is assuming your nutrition status is on par and you are eating well before and after.)
Fact: Your body is pretty efficient at moving it’s own weight. When you ask it to move something heavy, your brain alters its neural recruitment pattern, calling up the most fatigue-resistant muscle fibers so you exert less energy. Kanji Doma, Ph.D. At James Cook University in Queensland.
Fact: Due to delayed-onset muscle soreness (DOMS) that results after resistance-training, runners that run and push themselves to achieve a certain level of performance after strength training risk injury due to muscle fatigue that causes poor running form. Research shows that performance can be decreased by 10% due to DOMS.
Fact: There is functional/activation type of strength training that can be done prior to running that benefits running form and performance.
Fact: It is acceptable to run on tired and/or sore legs. Dr. Doma suggests keeping your exertion at 70% (or a zone 2 effort). This type of training actually benefits the endurance athlete by stimulating other …. adaptations.
Be your own boss, like a boss, or you will be bossed around
Today’s blog is brought to you by my attempt at balancing building my own business, working for someone else and putting food in my kids mouth. (And paying for heart surgeries).
Admittedly I don’t take being bossed around well. I don’t know if it’s me and my personality or that I just don’t deal well with crappy bosses. Maybe a combo. I do think that I do ok with folks telling me what to do. I don’t think I do well when I don’t have room to do things with excellence , if thats outside of their status quo / expectations. Certainly if what they want me to do goes against my ethics. That’s a real big rub. One of the main reasons for the beginning of the end of my 9-5 engineering gig.
I know that in the past I would take things personal and all that. Now … I think I just don’t do well with disrespect and lack of adulting ability.
Definitely tho … I have work to do. Roger that.
Today, with some work related drama in the background … I think about the fact that I haven’t been the best boss to myself.
– I for sure in the past haven’t given myself enough praise
– I might not give myself enough grace in recognizing that making changes is hard and needs more of the above to help facilitate a perm change
– Definitely too critical and default to being to hard on myself
– I tend to not honor the boundaries that I set for myself and others
– I am not the best at being consistent but I am getting better at this
AT this sentence I think a big fat pause is needed in this conversation!
PAUSE!!!
Let’s take a second to look at terms and maybe open up to different thoughts in this area.
BOSS = ??
When we say boss … what does your mind say to you? What filter do you automatically put in place.
“Person in charge”. Your thought: oh, I need to behave differently.
Your thoughts …
LEADER= ??
PARTNER= ??
MENTOR= ??
Anyway. The point is …. how do you really view the person that is “above” you. In that place of guidance and leadership.
I believe that the person is suppose to be teaching you a lesson. That the catch 22 is that maybe it’s the terrible “boss” that is suppose to be teaching you the lesson. Funny how karma makes things so zesty and fun to figure out.
POINT IS …
Are you being a good leader to yourself? Are you inspiring yourself to work differently to improve and reach towards your next goals.
Is your job “boss” inspiring the same? Do your principles align with theirs?
So many hard questions.
Let’s pull this point into a convo that you have a lot of control on. Influence. YOU BEING YOUR OWN EXCELLENT BOSS. Even if you have to go to a J O B, you can still be your own boss. Leader. Inspire-er of all this epic and awesome.
1. KNOW WHO YOU ARE
What you stand for. This is the make it or break it. You know (mindful) of who you really are, or hold the one with the boundaries that honor that. The ship sinks.
This is why Franklin Covey in the planners starts out with your principles.
(Truth needs to be present here. The deep down, who you are. Not … “good mom” or whatever. YOU. Deep down. The stuff on your tombstone.
for me ….
I am a person that says the truth. “Satya”. So if I have to tell an untruth or be in the gray area, this is a big fat rub for me personally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
2. BUILD TRUST
So considering that you know who you are and what you stand for. Build trust with yourself by honoring your ethics and beliefs. AND….
When you say you are going to do something. Do it. For your own trust with yourself. As well as having others trust you.
for me ….
I like to help others, a lot. I probably tend to sway that side more (maybe to fill my “acceptable account”) than compared to my “truth account”. So I will allow others to cross a boundary or two because I am “helping” them, at the cost of my own ethics, and not speaking my truth. Honoring who I am. As a result, I lose trust in myself, in a deep down sense.
So my action step, in knowing who I AM, appropriately communicating boundaries with myself (or others) and HOLD THE LINE. In as pleasant a way as possible. Not being afraid to step on toes, don’t shy away in an attempt to fill the “acceptance account”. Go to flipping sleep at 10 or 10:30, BK! Do it. Stop jacking around with that bed time/boundary.
3. PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE
It is so hard, but we really need to get into a better mental and emotional habit of defaulting to praise vs criticism or even constructive feedback. And praise ourselves. Praise others. FIRST.
Focus on what is working. Not what needs fixed. You might be wrong about the issue, or just completely full of feces. Positivity. Focus on what’s working and is always the way to go.
for me ….
Reward myself. Quiet time in the bath. Coffee outside watching the birds. Little sticky notes that say “good job BK, you rocked that!” (and not internalize other’s judgments on my actions)
4. INSPIRE
I have a favor saying. #thelittlesarewatcing
A parenting truth. Your children do what you do. Not what you say. And if you constantly say something differently then they do …. OMG. The problems that ensue. Zero trust. They might actively do the opposite of what you want to express the face that you might be full of feces.
INSPIRE = fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
If #1, #2 and #3 are done well, this one naturally happens. Especially if you are thinking about how that person (or you ) think, learn, express themselves and feel …. you will be a rockstar in connecting and just rocking your jam. Inspiring others is a fully thing. It comes for you doing YOU EXCELLENTLY, giving all your heart and soul. Those that need to see that and experience it will be placed right in front of you.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE
(even if it is totally opposite what’s manifesting at that point in time)
for me…. I need to fill my life with people that are inspiring me. Simple as that. Read inspiring things. Watch inspiring things. Fill my soul with what’s inspiration.
5. CONSTRUCTIVE OBSERVATIONS
Communicating feedback is so important. Your relationship with yourself, with others and etc is a two way street. That is a truth. It completely maps up with that smartie Isaac Newton and his equal and opposite reaction law. You do something. There will be an affect. Feedback in and of itself isn’t good or bad. Positive or negative. Getting into the habit of giving positive feedback can be hard as we are a society that LOVES to take all the credit, not give credit to others and also to be obsessed with the negative. What’s not working. Or how I’m so awesome and did this all myself, as help is construed as negative. “I couldn’t do it myself.”
This positive feedback is the foundation of everything. Good parenting. Good dog training. Good coaching. Good relationship. Good self management.
On the opposite side of the coin, expressing the other feedback is equally important. (Truth, sometimes the lessons come the hard and uncomfortable way. Or most of the time). We just usually suck at it or shy away from conflict because others suck at it … or we are delusional and think we are always right. We aren’t all that good at looking it the mirror … in an objective and constructive (loving) way.
Constructive observation instead of criticism. If you do this and the panties get in a wad, you know that the issue isn’t (usually) with what you said or what not, but more in the person in front of you. If that happens to be you … then you need to have a reality check with your competing behaviors. And as my coach says to me all the time, “get your mind right Kissinger”.
for me….
I need to journal daily to communicate with myself. See what I’ve been doing well. What I can work on. Where my bullshit is at (Roger that!) Use the journalling platform to be the best boss of mine that I can be.
CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!?!? 😉
Final thoughts.
STOP FREAKING BULLYING YOURSELF. Be a good boss. A leader to yourself. Not a jerk face.
Do not be afraid to fire people. ;). Maybe they need a different job.
Do that and the others around you will probably naturally follow suit. Or things will get cleaned up. Either way. Winner winner chicken dinner.
The Dash in the Middle Matters
We talk about goals. I want to do this. I want to do that. I want to lose weight. I want to do a marathon. I want to be a better mom and human being. I want to fix the anxiety.
We set goals. We have these big things that we want to do. We can get really wrapped up in that the end looks like. When we begin … most of the time we already have set the expectation of what success looks like. And it is usually borrowed from somewhere/someone else …. We might become very rigid in what that looks like. Become very attached to “creating” that exact thing or how we perceive it to “look”. Like… my 401K needs to have this amount of money it in because that is the only way I’m going to have security when I’m older. Or …. my kid has to turn out to gotten all good grades and went through college and got a good job and a good marriage in order for me to check mark that I was a good parent. Or … I have to hit my marathon goal to prove that I am a good enough athlete, that I’m not slow and pathetic”. I think that some amount of that is important. To hold the line. (I don’t believe in everyone gets a participation ribbon, sometimes the line needs to be far enough that some fail. So the lessons are learned).
Goals are GREAT. But the truth is that everything is changing all the time. Facts of science. And it’s just common sense that if that is true, hahaha, which it is, then the end picture if you will, has a high likelihood of looking different than what you envisioned when you started. You almost want to really embrace this because it means (proves) that you did change. Because we want to change. If the goal is big enough, and heart felt ones always are … you have to be different in order to accomplish it. Thats growth. You are either growing or you are dying. (THE DASH) We need to learn how to be flexible with those changes so we roll with the slight adjustments along the way. That is where faith comes in. Faith that when you GET ON THE ROAD, and work your ass of to go down the road, hopefully faster than slower, you don’t freak the heck out on the slight detours that might just gift you with most awesome stuff …. That lack of faith or freaking out at the detours can very well cause you to cheat yourself out of something glorious or the whole flipping goal.
DO NOT FREAK OUT
HAVE FAITH
(plus be brave, look at what’s in front of you, pick up what you need, use the darn thing, and continue forward)
I do believe that all our goals, if we look close enough, have ties to our heart. “I want to lose this stupid 20 pounds!”. DEEP down I believe this stems from the #heartgoal of wanting to develop better self love activities, take better care of ourselves, love ourselves more, do the right things, etc. I do not believe that we REALLY want or are designed to drink our life away, or play small all the time or live a boring ass life that doesn’t make a dent anywhere. (A positive dent thank you very much!) Yeah, a lot will get hung up on fitting in the cute jeans, tri shorts, etc …. but I do truly believe that underneath that is the TRUE DESIRE to love ourselves more so we see (outwardly shine) a more attractive version of ourselves. It is the visual feedback that we accomplished the REAL CHANGE we wanted, the self love habits accomplished.
It’s the journey that matters. We begin. And we end. We start out gloriously perfect. We ALWAYS have the part of ourselves that is gloriously perfect and bright (we just cover it up). And we will always die. What you can influence with the “dash”. What you do in the middle is what matters.
Did you take the detour and help a stranger, perhaps save a life and grace yourself a bit too … or did you freak the f out and make life harder on yourself and those around you?
THE DASH MATTERS. What you do with the dash is what brightens life. What graces others. What dictates not the end number or the end goal, but how big of a smile there was. What gets WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE is the dent you make. What do you want written on yours?
This is why I tell my athletes, GET THE BEST RACE PICTURE EVER! It represents all the blood, sweat and tears that it took to get there. It represents the DASH! The Journey. Doesn’t matter if you got on the podium or were dead last.
THE DASH MATTERS