When it’s really tough, you don’t always have to go at it HEAD ON!
Jane is going through a divorce. There is a lot at stake. Finances. Children. Logistics of rebuilding a life. Internal grief, lose, doubt … Jane is struggling with smiling at her children, figuring out how to move forward. Her sleep sucks. She feels as if shes drowning.
It can be overwhelming. Leave you breathless. Feeling lost. Unsure. Unsettled.
Divorce. Job changes. Illness. Struggles within the family. Life. Any of these can make things just a little more interesting.
All of this can lead to taking the necessary next immediate steps difficult.
Sometimes we get stuck in the thought that we need to fix everything. All at once. Meet the challenges head on. Feel like we’ve accomplished something because all the messy ends are taken care of. One reason we trend towards this way of working through things is that we get super uncomfortable with the “unknown”. So we work hard to find another “known”.
DOES THE WORK WELL ALL THE TIME?
We can get into a habit of forcing the situation, to get out of the “uncomfortable”. That forcing action can be stressful, inefficient, less than optimal. Detrimental to our health. And maybe we miss a lesson we are set to learn.
Perhaps if we had waited in the “unknown” for a bit. Experiencing the uncomfortableness of it, we find a different “solution”. OR …. the “solution” comes to us organically. We have faith and the situation works itself out. Like magic. And we learn how to be “more OK” with uncomfortable. More flexible, less rigid.
WHEN IT GETS INTENSE:
1. Write down on a sticky WHAT MATTERS MOST. 3 things. Put that sticky(s) right in front of you. FOCUS.
2. Emotionally, mentally put the stuff NOT on the list in your backpack. Intentionally leave it in the backpack until something on the WHAT MATTERS MOST list demands something out of the backpack.
WE ARE NOT HIDING, just focusing on what matters most, what we have control over, what we have energy and strength for. We aren’t putting it in a box in the basement …. after all, the backpack is so very close to the heart, just not in our immediate sight. Just on the backburner.
You’ll find that you gain strength. Give yourself room to breathe and think. Room for FAITH to work it’s magic.
So Jane, she’s really struggling with understanding why her ex-husband would do x,y and z. And also struggling with his behavior, the choices that he’s making in regards to his children. The first, is there really any answers that help and the second, can she control his behavior? So she works everyday to put those things in her backpack. Intentionally put the thoughts in her backpack EACH time they come into her mind/heart. She works to FOCUS on herself, telling herself that the situation doesn’t change the fact that she is a ROCKSTAR. This helps her to smile at her children. Later on down the road she finds that she doesn’t need to understanding why he did x,y and z. Perhaps she gains more self worth through it. Maybe her actions that stem from that knowledge are visible to him, he organically changes as well.
HAVE FAITH
BREATHE
LET GO
BELIEVE IN THE NEXT AWESOME PLACE
(repeat)
